Love should be doing what’s best for you. Being single is the time when you get to focus on yourself and find out who you are, to experiment socially and sexually and to enjoy dating for the glorious clustercuss it can be sometimes.

Meaning that Louisa May Alcott, Janet Reno, Jane Austen, Coco Chanel and Oprah, all of whom never married, are losers. Queen Elizabeth the First. You’re a loser. Joan of Arc. Loser. Maureen Dowd. BIG FUCKING FIRECROTCH LOSER. Who has even heard of the New York Times, anyway?

 

you can’t be a queen if there is a king in the picture.

If you are reading this, you have survived your entire life up until this point.

You have survived traumas, heartbreak, devastation, the elements, different phases of life. And here you are.

You go, motherfucker. You’re awesome.

Aside

1. Party moderately, until moderation doesn’t suffice.

2. Party heavily until you can’t take it. 

3. Party a little more.

4. Somehow find your way back the next day.

5. Repeat.